Week 30

From the top-down: 33 weeks pregnant, 32 Weeks pregnant

Shopping
Mike and I finally found the time to visit a few stores to look at nursery furniture and big items we'll need for the baby. We started with cribs which probably wasn't the best idea since they tend to be the most expensive. After checking the price tags on the first few we liked, Mike asked, "What's wrong with just putting a blanket on the floor for the baby to sleep on? Would he really know the difference?" I replied, "That's a great idea, and maybe we could just substitute rocks for toys, too." After doing more browsing through Fayetteville's Tiny Town and Babies R Us, though, we decided we'll probably just start out with a Pack 'n Play, stroller, and car seat in terms of big items. I'll be moving around so much in those first few months between our apartment in Fayetteville, my parents' house, sister's house, and visits to Mike's family that it makes more sense to wait on buying nursery furniture until Mike returns from deployment in early April. The Pack 'n Play comes with an attached bassinet, so the baby will be comfy in it for at least a few months, and my parents have a crib he can use for the spring when he's a little bigger. As far as which brand and style of items to purchase, we still have some research to do, but we're definitely not opposed to buying on eBay to cut down on expenses. I've been getting lots of requests for a registry, so hopefully I'll have it finished and posted within the week.

Dreams
I've been having the most vivid dreams lately, which is common pregnancy because, since I'm waking up every few hours, I tend to stay in the dream cycle and am kept from going into deep sleep. Here's one of my funny baby-related dreams. I'm going into labor and Mike is nowhere to be found. I call him and call him and look for him, but finally my dad has to take me to the hospital. I end up having to have a C-section, and when the doctor hands my baby to me, it's not a baby, but a mini Mike! He hops right up, stands on my shoulder, and tells me we have to get out of the hospital asap because we've got tons of things to do. When I tell him I just had a C-section and that I have to recover, he tells me to stop being a baby and that we need to get out of there so we can be productive. I'm so confused and start worrying about the fact that he's himself in adult form, just miniature, and that since everyone will think he's a baby, he'll have to go through pre-school, k-12, and college all over again and will be so much smarter than all of his peers. He tells me to stop worrying, that he'll just have me home-school him. Then I wake up. So funny, especially if you know Mike (pencil behind his ear, planner always accessible)! I've been having lots of anxiety-related dreams as well. Usually, they have to do with school. In them, I'm always pregnant, but rather than teaching, I'm still a student and am missing assignments or classes that are keeping from graduating college. Weird, huh?

Baby's Development
He now weighs around 3 lbs and has fully formed eyelashes and eyebrows. His brain is beginning to take over temperature regulation, so most of the peach fuzz, or lanugo, that covered his body is dissentigrating. I'm noticing that he hiccups all the time now, especially after I eat. His hiccup sessions usually last around 5 minutes or so. His movements are also getting much stronger, and I can usually tell whether it's his foot that's jabbing me, or if it's his little hand which feels must smaller and has a softer, lighter touch. Mike enjoys putting his head on my belly to feel all the different kinds of movements, and it's fun to watch my tummy move around as the baby changes positions. We also signed up for July childbirth classes, which I'm sure will come with some fun stories!

Week 29

Schooooool's out out for summer! Schooooool's out for-ever! Well, maybe. Since our baby is due in September and Mike will be deploying for six to seven months, I'll be retiring as a teacher and assuming the role of stay-at-home mom, or, as I once heard it referred to as, domestic engineer. That has a nice ring to it. I say I'm retiring rather than taking a leave of absence because, when I do go back to work, I'm planning on taking up a different occupation. And, who knows? Maybe once I'm removed from teaching for a while, I'll decide otherwise, but for now, I'm thinking about getting my graduate degree in counseling. Although teaching can be very rewarding, I know that to be the kind of teacher I want to be would require round-the-clock time and attention. It's definitely not a job that can just be left at the door at 5:00. I'm not saying counseling would be an easy job by any means, it just wouldn't require the same type of energy and effort needed to manage large groups of students every day (and managing students in poverty requires a whole different kind of energy).

Poverty is its own animal within the education system and, speaking from experience, will drain every ounce of energy right out of a teacher. To give you a little bit of background on the school for which I worked, Terry Sanford, it's very unique in terms of demographics. Its location attracts some of the wealthiest students as well as the most poverty-stricken students, and very few in between. The wealthy students tend to end up in mostly honors and advanced placement (AP) classes, while the poor students tend to end up in standard classes.

Three of the five classes I taught were standard English 1 classes, and, at the end of the year, the demographics of the 66 students in those classes were as follows: 39 black (59%), 17 white (27%), 7 Hispanic (11%), 2 other (3%). The majority of those students had a family alert on file, which basically means they lived in either a one-parent household or with someone other than a parent (e.g. grandparent, aunt, brother, etc.), and lived in low-income environments. 7 of my 39 black students did not pass the end-of-course exam (2 of whom had learning disabilities), 1 of my 17 white students didn't pass (had a learning disability), and 3 of my 7 Hispanic students didn't pass (2 of whom were learning English as a second language, one of those two not having spoken a word of English at the beginning of the year). The diversity and varying learning capacities of these students make planning, preparation, and differentiation so critical in meeting their academic and emotional needs, which is overwhelming when they tend to require so much more individual attention than peers in healthy circumstances.

Poverty creates so many challenges in establishing an atmosphere for learning. Think how hard it can be for adolescents in healthy situations to focus. They've got boyfriends/girlfriends on the brain, Friday night's football/basketball game, after-school practice, gossip to share, etc. For the most part, though, they have adults at home who care about and are encouraging, vouching for, pushing for them to succeed. The adults in their at-home lives usually do everything in their power to help them be successful in high-school and post-secondary endeavors. Now, think about high-schoolers in poverty. Not only do they have normal adolescent issues like the ones listed above, they also may have very young, single or low-educational-level parents who face unemployment; they may face abuse and neglect, substance abuse, dangerous neighborhoods, homelessness, frequent mobility, and exposure to inadequate or inappropriate educational experiences. An awesome resource for the effects of poverty on teaching and learning is www.teach-nology.com.

One critical component of inadequate exposure to educational experiences these children face deals with vocabulary. Research from the U.S. Department of Education has shown that, by the age of three, high-income children hear an average of 30 million words, middle-income children hear an average of 20 million, and low-income children hear an average of 10 million (that's only 1/3 as many words as are heard in affluent households). When a student is unfamiliar with vocabulary, it makes comprehending academic texts much more difficult, and to get low-income students up to vocab-par with affluent students, it would require about 41 extra hours of out-of-home word exposure per week (www2.ed.gov).

Lots of public schools, including Terry Sanford, are making educational progress with these students, but schools that have done the best job have been those whose entire faculty dedicate round-the-clock attention to the student body. I watched a 60 Minutes piece on The SEED School of Maryland, a very successful urban public boarding school for disadvantaged students whose teachers are available until basically 10:00 every night for tutoring, whose students stay there in dormitory-like housing from 6th grade forward, and whose character-building curriculum focuses on eight specific values, including responsibility, respect, compassion, empathy, integrity, self-discipline, self-determination, and perseverence. 98% of the SEED's students are accepted to college. The school has proven that it's possible for disadvantaged children to succeed, but it definitely takes faculty who are willing to basically dedicate their entire livelihood to the students, and it requires removing the students from their home environments to completely refocus their set of values. The school's website is www.seedschoolmd.org.

I admire those teachers who are willing to dedicate that much time, but, at this point in my life, I definitely couldn't do it, especially with a baby. I do feel a little guilty about not sticking it out for just one more year because, when I was still in college working at 4 Olives Wine Bar, an older man who had taught in the heart of New York City's public school system (I think somewhere in the Bronx) sparked a conversation with me about teaching, specifically urban education. He made me promise to stick it out for at least three years. He said the stress of the job is extremely lessened after that. I think I would have stuck with it if Mike and I hadn't decided to start a family so soon, but I couldn't be happier with our decision and for the new experiences that will come with it. As I mentioned above, when I do go back to work, I think an occupation like counseling would give me a sense of contribution that would be more manageable in congruence with raising a family; it would also fit my personality more than teaching does. I'm definitely not naturally a super-extroverted entertainer, so teaching teenagers who really need that type of personality for motivation is extra draining for me. I'm much more comfortable with small-group or one-on-one guidance, and being a little removed from daily classroom behavioral management would give me more compassion as well. Being immersed in the classroom in the stressful culture of poverty definitely forces you to take a step back every day to remember the environment the kids face at home, or frustration can often overcome empathy. Hopefully with counseling, I'll be able to contribute even more in different ways!

Week 27

The three pics at the top are from week 26 at Wrightsville Beach (just outside Wilmington, NC), and the three pics below those are from week 18 in Jamaica. I remember being so happy that I was finally showing in Jamaica, but looking back at the pics, I was still so small! It's crazy how much my tummy has grown in the past 8 or 9 weeks.

Everything continues to go well, and I only have one more week of teaching left! These last couple of weeks have made me especially ready for the break as they've been overloaded with end-of-course testing and remediation. I'll definitely be hitting up the pool in the weeks to come.

According to my glucose test, I don't have gestational diabetes. The baby's heart rate measures in around 140 bpm, and my tummy growth is right on target. I've gained about 20 lbs since the beginning of the pregnancy, and the doc said I should be gaining around a pound a week from here on out. That will most likely put me at a total gain of 35 lbs by the due date. The recommended weight gain for a person of healthy pre-pregnancy weight is 25-35 lbs, so I'm on the high end of that. I have to admit, I definitely haven't been exercising like I should (I'll blame it on feeling drained from my job), so hopefully, I'll be able to do more yoga and walking over the summer. I used to run a lot, but after I miscarried, I got out of my routine and didn't get back into it for this pregnancy. I don't want to overdo it, but I think some exercise will give me some much needed third-trimester energy (which, by the way, will start in just one more week!). I'll also blame the gain on my carb cravings! :)

Here's what I've read about the distribution of weight gain:

Nutrient, protein and fat stores: 7-10 lbs.
Extra blood volume (It increases by 45-50%! Crazy, right?): 3-4 lbs.
Retained fluids: 3-4 lbs.
Breasts: 1-2 lbs.
Uterus: 1-2 lbs.
Amniotic fluid: 2-3 lbs.
Placenta: 1-2 lbs.
Baby: 6-8 lbs.

Baby continues to move around like crazy. Yesterday morning, I was spooning Mike, and he could feel the baby kicking his butt. So cute! As excited as we are about our baby's arrival, Mike and I definitely want to take advantage of our time alone together this summer. Since I won't be able to fly or travel long distances once August hits, we're trying to get as much togetherness and as many trips in as possible this month and next month. We definitely want to "live deep and suck the marrow out of life" together, as Thoreau would say, while our stresses are still limited, budget is not too tight, and Mike is actually in the US.